Well, a lot has happened since I last wrote here. I found an apartment and moved out with my children. I took a lot of furniture from the old house but my home now still feels empty of material things. Some days I just want to shop and fill it all up but for some reason I can't. I don't think this is going to be a resting place for long and my mind knows that. The love and free-ness is wonderful, though. I have one son living with me now and the other one comes home from being incarcerated next month. I hope he feels the HOPE in our new home. I do know he's very excited to come home to a new environment.
My divorce is happening as I write. The first hurdle, spousal support, is behind me and my lawyer is a wonderful, strong woman who knows what I need and speaks and acts for me as I would do for myself if I had the guts. I am so lucky to have found her and when this is all over with I'll let her know how much her service has meant to me. I know she makes an awful lot of money but really, she has gone above and beyond already in this short time. She does not call me with every little thing but acts in my best interests which is wonderful because sometime I don't even do that for myself. Never underestimate a woman. Seriously. Lethal.
Many friends whom I have not seen or heard from in a very long time have come forward to lend support, let me know I'm doing the right thing (and most think I should have done it a long time ago) and make sure I'm not stewing in depression or left alone too long. I appreciate all of these friends and it shows me that I have had very good taste in choosing the few good friends I've had all of these years.
Family have also rallied. Not one family member was surprised but all were relieved and happy about my decision and are happy that my life is about to begin, finally.
I have enrolled in college and had a very high score on an admissions test. I was paraded around the campus feeling wonderful and smart! They even tried to get me to enroll in a more intensive program but it wouldn't fit in with my goals. Financials went through without a hitch. It seems that newly separated homemakers are given priority status for a student loan. I've always wanted to go to college and at 48 years old I start next month. How exciting is that??!!
Everything seems golden right now and coated with a thick layer of sparkly, crystalized sugar. All I can think about is wiping this smug smile off my face because it'll all come crashing down on me soon enough. Right?
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